Adorabelle
by Tie Kerl
Summary: One-shot: A short, pointless story about what would happen if Artemis Fowl the Second built up an immunity to Mary-Sues...


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AN: I wrote this in about five minutes during Math class, so it's short and stupid. A bit like Root… Okay, okay, just kidding. In any case, this is a little story about what would happen if Artemis developed immunity to Mary-Sues as a result of being exposed to them so much. Enjoy.

Artemis was sitting at his desk in his study, typing a program designed to transfer a great deal of money from a Swiss bank account to his. He was fine tuning it, when suddenly, there was a small explosion over his head. He never even looked up.

An indescribably pretty girl, with a perfect face, and shiny blond hair dropped through the new sunroof. She shook the dust from her long, lovely hair. She looked at Artemis. "Hi. My name is Adorabelle."

Artemis continued to type. "That's nice."

Adorabelle smiled her perfectly straight and pure white smile. "I know. My mother, who is now dead, took three days to pick it out. It means adorable."

Artemis was unfazed. "You don't say."

The female teenager frowned, but in an attractive sort of way. "Something's wrong. You're not in love with me yet. You're supposed to flip head over heels when you first see me!"

Artemis gave an irritated sigh. "Artemis Fowl does not flip, literally, nor metaphorically."

Adorabelle brightened. "I know what those words mean. You know how?"

"You're not as thick as you look?"

The girl giggled. "No, silly. It's because I'm only thirteen, and I'm that smartest person on earth."

"Sure you are."

She nodded. "I'm also a secret agent for the FBI and the CIA."

Artemis sighed. "Please get out of my manor."

Adorabelle smiled. "No, because you want me to stay because I'm so perfect. Do you know why my eyes are purple, even though it was never mentioned before?"

Artemis rubbed his temples. "Pray tell."

"It's because I'm half faerie! I also work for LEP, but only me, Commander Root, and Foaly know."

Artemis had an idea. "If you are smarter than me, than why do you talk like a six year old?"

"It's because it's uncool to talk like that."

Artemis was fed up. "Butler! There's another one in the study!"

Adorabelle started to get fearful. "Wait. I'm not perfect! I have lots of faults!"

"Like what?"

The girl thought for a moment. "Well, I can only play three hundred songs on the banjo."

"Butler!"

The giant manservant appeared in the doorway. "Another, Master Artemis?"

Artemis nodded. "Please escort Miss Adorabelle to the door."

The girl batted her eyelashes. "Aren't you going to say you can't do that because I'm too beautiful?"

Butler rolled his eyes. "I think not." He proceeded to drag the kicking and screaming, and now, not so perfect girl out of the manor.

Captain Holly Short was ticked. For some unknown reason, she was going to Fowl Manor to give to little Mud Whelp a piece of her mind. She paused outside of the gates.

Butler threw the girl through the gate, and locked it. "And stay out!"

Adorabelle looked at the shocked elf. "I suggest you don't mess with him. He's in a bad mood."

Holly turned around, and headed back for the pod, muttering under her breath, "I don't want to know."

Back inside the manor, Butler returned to the study brushing the dust off of his hands. "There's one more of the little creeps gone."

Artemis sighed. "There will be more. I can not believe the numbers of these things. There's over seven hundred stories, and somewhere around a four hundred of them are Mary-Sues!"

Butler nodded. "Tell me about it. It's Wednesday, and that's the sixth one this week."

Meanwhile, Adorabelle sat on the curb, whining to no one. "I can't believe this! I get dumped by Legolas, and now Artemis Fowl! Oh, well. There's still Hogwarts. I guess I could show up there as Harry's long lost twin sister."

Hogwarts: One Week Later:

A girl with dark green eyes, jet black hair, and a lighting bolt scar on her forehead stood before Harry Potter, who was eating some toast.

"Hi, Harry! My name is Adorabelle! I'm you're twin sister! I'm also in love with Draco Malfoy, overcoming the house rivalry so we can be together!"

"GO AWAY!"


End file.
